Its January. The Sunday supplements are groaning with glossy pictures of wheatgrass and spinach. Every D List Celebrity is droning on about their latest improbable and indigestible Detox Diet. Weightwatchers TV adverts have gone into overdrive and office kitchens across the land are filled with smug workers microwaving homemade calorie free, carb free, taste free cabbage soups.
As an antidote to that I give you Maya Angelou. I challenge you to not want to feast on juicy steak and oily ribs after reading this.
The Health-Food Diner
No sprouted wheat and soya shoots
And Brussels in a cake,
Carrot straw and spinach raw,
(Today, I need a steak).
Not thick brown rice and rice pilaw
Or mushrooms creamed on toast,
Turnips mashed and parsnips hashed,
(I’m dreaming of a roast).
Health-food folks around the world
Are thinned by anxious zeal,
They look for help in seafood kelp
(I count on breaded veal).
No smoking signs, raw mustard greens,
Zucchini by the ton,
Uncooked kale and bodies frail
Are sure to make me run
Loins of pork and chicken thighs
And standing rib, so prime,
Pork chops brown and fresh ground round
(I crave them all the time).
Irish stews and boiled corned beef
and hot dogs by the scores,
or any place that saves a space
For smoking carnivores.
image via changing-pages